Buy, Download and Forget

I have an itch to write about a few things, and so here is my attempt to make them work together.

I present to you three CDs that have come out recently (or are slotted for release soon), and my judgment on them.

HORSE the Band may look apathetic, but their latest album is by far their best work.

Buy It:

What: Desperate Living
Who: HORSE the Band
When: October 6th.
Why:
HTB have gotten so crazy good over their career, it blows me away. I think hardcore HORSE fans out there are far too willing to argue that R. Borlax (Pluto 03) is their best album and that it's all downhill from there. First off, you're an elitist asshole. Second off, the songwriting on Borlax was creative, but it wasn't songwriting. It was just songs.

We caught a glimmer of HORSE's writing potential on A Natural Death (Koch 07), in tracks such as "I Think We are Both Suffering from the Same Crushing Metaphysical Crisis" which featured blazing guitar riffs, ethereal (not just cutesy) key parts and some actually interesting vocal patterns (not just funny lyrics). Song composition has increased ten fold on Desperate Living. The music as a whole is interesting, not just humorous.

And it's still brutal as ever. Their heavier riffs and breakdowns are reminiscent of Silent-Circus-era Between the Buried and Me, only with more synth. If the breakdown at the end of "Golden Mummy Golden Bird" doesn't have you destroying your own personal property, nothing will.

I think HORSE are finally taking themselves seriously, and it's paying off.

Yeah, Paramore is radio-as-hell, but it doesn't mean they don't rock every once and a while.

Download It:

What: Brand New Eyes
Who: Paramore
When: Out now
Why:
No matter how mainstream and poppy Paramore are, they still amaze me with their ability to make plain old fashioned rock and roll. Hayley Williams is still a force to be reckoned with behind the mic (and that fire engine hair doesn't hurt, either).

While Paramore haven't exactly stepped outside too many of their boundaries with Brand New Eyes (released Oct. 29), they still managed to create a few memorable tracks besides just the singles. "Careful" and "Ignorance" are easily the album's heaviest tracks, and I actually do mean heavy. William's voice surges over the powerful riffs and loud drums, and the noise generated is reminiscent of Iron Maiden at their best. (Woah, did I just link Paramore to Iron Maiden? I must be going to hell.)

"Brick by Boring Brick" is fantastic, and it features the ever poppy, but ever so deliciously catchy "woah-oh" vocal pattern. William's shows a softer, and certainly sappy, side on "The Only Exception." And don't get me wrong, it's incredibly sappy, but it's done oh-so-well that I can't turn away.

The rest of the album is truly hit-or-miss, but don't let their record label, their image or the fact that they sell out stadium shows to 14 year-old-girls turn you off from some of the ruckus they still manage to make.

"Woah, Fall Out Boy have a new album? When did this thing come out?"

Forget It:

What: Greatest Hits (actual title yet to be released)

Who: Fall Out Boy

When: Date not set, Track list found here
Why:
The whole point of a greatest hits album in general is totally beyond me. I can understand their effectiveness in the cassette age, when people weren't able to skip directly to the song they wanted to, or I don't know, burn their own goddamn hits CD.

The point of a Fall Out Boy greatest hits is even further beyond me because Fall Out Boy, unlike some other copy-paste pop bands, actually put out entirely good albums. Take This to Your Grave (Decaydance/Island 05) is solid from front to back. The same can be said for From Under the Cork Tree (Decaydance/Island 07). The whole point of having "The Take Over, the Break's Over" as Track 2 on "Infinity on High" is because Jay-mother-fucking-Z opens the record with an intro/outro on "Thriller," Track 1. Isolating "The Take Over" all by itself is stupid. Like Ben Affleck, it is frightened and inept when isolated from its Matt Damon.

Furthermore, there are no tracks included from Evening Out with Your Girlfriend (03). I am not about to be that guy and argue that their first CD is their best (because it is most definitely not), but I will at least make the case that there is good material on it that is being passed over simply because the casual (read: stupid) FOB fan (read: the guy who would buy an FOB greatest hits album) is not even aware that album exists.

"Is that the one with Dead on Arrival on it?"

No. And "Dead on Arrival" is quite possibly the worst FOB song, ever. There I said it.

And no "worst FOB song, ever" is not a redundant statement, because although you don't want to admit it, you fucking know the vocal melody to "Sugar, We're Going Down," even if you're making fun of it, and that's catchy music writing.

You Are Not Allowed to Listen to Your Music Out Loud In Public

Headphones cannot be used ironically. And yet, there always seems to be at least one person per city block that thinks the reason you buy gigantic Bose headphones is to let them hang lazily down your shoulders, as speakers.

Listening to your music out loud in public is comparable to reading aloud from Chicken Soup for the Teenage Mother’s Soul in a crowded subway. I bet it’s a damned interesting read for you, the teenage mother in question, but chances are the demographic of those around you that give a shit is fairly low.

You cannot play your music out loud in public because that implies that a) you really fucking love this band, or b) you want the whole world to love this fucking band, or c) both a and b.

But face it, no matter what, no one will love Bruce Springsteen more than you. Sure, certainly someone will suggest they do, but it doesn’t matter if they’ve seen the Boss live sixteen times, and you’ve only seen him a meager twelve times, or if they are convinced that “Born to Run” is written about their life, because you know it was really written about yours.

Therefore, attempting to seduce innocent passers-by of the greatness that is Bruce Springsteen is a pointless exercise. No one will love him as much as you. All this other entity has for Bruce is pseudo-love, a veritable “like-like” situation.

The problem is, however, no one seems to play somewhat agreeable music (like Bruce Springsteen) over loud speakers. It always seems to be that guy who is really into Rage Against the Machine – who tend to sound like a construction yard after about two tracks – or the guy that thinks “Soulja Boi Tell ‘Em” warrants fifteen plays in one sitting – which it might, in hell.

And so, instead of walking down the street and hearing “Born in the USA,” which is a terrible song but sort of like “YMCA” (in that, it makes white people want to dance), my ears have to bear the burden of Superman-ning hoes.

The other side of the coin is, I will never play my music out loud on a bus or in a park because, even though I believe my musical taste to be a) better than yours, and b) smarter than yours, I recognize that no one will love my music more than me. And to convince anyone otherwise would be defeatist.


- I had an epiphany while writing this blog. I was going to use the metaphor – “it’s kind of like writing your opinion all over a wall for everyone to read, even though they don’t really care.” This metaphor perfectly describes what I am doing now, that is, writing my opinion on a “wall” (read: The Interwebz) and allowing everyone (read: no one) to read it.

I decided the difference between playing your music out loud and sharing opinions with everyone is that some opinions suck, but the gist of them tend to end after about fifteen seconds. You can listen to someone ramble about politics and know within the first quarter of a minute whether or not you give a shit and then proceed to tune this person out. When a person is sitting in a neighborhood café listening to Radiohead, you are forced to experience that audio stimulation for at least three minutes (per song), even if you decide you hate it within the first fifteen seconds, which is why the US government uses music as a form of torture.

-- another interesting side note: As I was doing a little bit of research on audio based torture for this last piece on my epiphany, I ran across this little factoid concerning the playlist used to torture prisoners in Guantanamo:

“That playlist includes many pro-American songs such as Neil Diamond’s song, America… Also included in this patriotic list are Bruce Springsteen’s, Born in the USA and Eminem’s White America.” (source)

The fact that I, unknowing of his abilities as a torture artist at the time, used the Boss in this article makes me that much more awesome. I also found out that Metallica and Sesame Street songs were also used as a soundtrack to torture. I then decided that if I had to be tortured by a foreign government, I think I would be okay with listening to The Count vocally recite the meter to "Harvester of Sorrow."

Green Day is Not the Music of Our Generation

Green Day won two VMAs last week. I died a little bit on the inside.

Everyone thinks Green Day is the greatest. You’ve probably even found yourself saying, “Yeah, I haven’t listened to a lot of their stuff, but I wouldn’t turn it off if it came on the radio.”

This is a dangerous lifestyle to be leading. First off, because you shouldn’t be listening to the radio in the first place, and secondly, because Green Day is actually terrible, and you’ve been brainwashed.

Let me get something straight before I delve into the hate. I love Green Day, but their last good release was the generally forgotten Shenanigans. It was released after their International Superhits! compilation, so everyone was still too excited about the fact that they could listen to “Good Riddance” and the song from Angus an obscene amount of times without switching CDs.

When Green Day released American Idiot in 2004, everyone hated. Everyone. Think about it – you hated, too.

And now, Green Day has released a worse album than 04’s Idiot, 21st Century Breakdown, and they’re being praised for it. They won two VMAs.

I know. The VMAs aren’t the Grammys. But, I mean, they’re sort of like the Golden Globes of the music industry. So basically, the only reason they matter is because they don’t. Not that the Grammys matter, either, as long as they keep handing them out to Coldplay for being the absolute worst British band on the face of the Earth.

Why do people love 21st Century Breakdown? They don’t. They realize it’s a far worse album than American Idiot, which actually wasn’t too bad even when it was sucking really hard. People have become desensitized to Green Day releasing crappy albums (in the same way that they have to U2, but that’s a different story).

Green Day releases American Idiot, and everyone hates it. (Everyone.) Green Day releases a worse CD, and people start to think “Hmm, maybe this is how good music is supposed to sound. Why would Green Day release two terrible albums in a row? This must be solid gold.”

No one will stand up for good music, but I will.

I am telling you that you don’t love 21st Century Breakdown. You love Dookie and Insomniac, and sure maybe even the poorly produced Kerplunk, but you do NOT love 21st Century Breakdown. It doesn’t sound like “old Green Day.” It sounds like lazy Green Day.

“Know Your Enemy” is not “classic” Green Day. It is not OK for them to release a song with a three-chord progression and poppy drums and make us think that it is the same as before. That is some kind of deception. I can’t think of an appropriate term, so I’ll just say it’s audio libel. Your ears can’t defend themselves because they’ve never been lied to before.

What’s frightening is that people are talking about Green Day being the band of our generation. In the past, it’s been so obvious which bands were going to make it big, make it to the hall of fame and represent their generation. It must have been easy for our parents to have the Stones and the Beatles (and maybe Aerosmith). They knew, even then, that they were listening to something big.

I don’t think we have that yet, and if we do, it’s not Green Day. If anything, it’s blink-182, assuming their comeback is more than just a few shows and an album that sounds a lot like Take Off Your Pants and Jacket.

Green Day might go the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, but it will not be with my support. And no, I am not jealous of their success, nor am I bitter because “Good Riddance” stole every girlfriend that I’ve ever had (which doesn’t even really make any sense.) I’m upset because Green Day used to be about the music, and now they’re playing on stage with a second guitarist and backstage vocalist who don’t even get any public recognition from the band.

That is the original musical sin – not caring about your bandmates.

So the next time “21 Guns” comes on the air, which it shouldn’t because your radio should be at the bottom of the nearest lake, smile, perhaps chuckle quietly to yourself and tell yourself – I will not be lied to.

Well... I'm waiting.

Recently, I've become incredibly apathetic about music. This would explain my lapse in updating this hunk.

I can't help myself. I just can't get into anything that people are putting out right now. And until Between the Buried and Me release an album teaser, at the very least, I'll be forced to sit back and listen to these guys put out more garbage,

which definitely relates to the angsty teen buried within me, but doesn't quite slake the musical thirst of the somewhat intelligent being I consider myself to be.

September of this year just might be the musical apocalypse as another "totally fucking metal" tour is set to hit the US and Canada. The Night of the Living Shred tour will be headlined by All Shall Perish and Born of Osiris and will feature Caliban, Suffokate (whose name I just had to look up because the spelling is so ridiculously brutal), and After the Burial as well.

I suggest you hit up this tour if you want a cheap colonoscopy, but undergoing the actual medical procedure might be more exciting than the numerous bass drops and chugging you're certain to experience at these shows.

Not to mention "that guy" who, during every song by every band, will throw up some horns, elbow you in the side, and yell "THESE GUYS ARE METAL AS FUCK! WOOO!" Did I mention "that guy" will make up about 95% of the audience at these shows?

Stay at home, smoke a ton of pot, and eat Chunky Monkey out of the back of your toilet. It'll actually provide you with more neural stimulation than anything After the Burial can manage to produce.



As if my week wasn't bad enough, U2 is being featured in some new commercial for BlackBerry. Featured also in the video is a giant pair of singing wrap-around sunglasses and lighting effects a la boring-as-hell planetarium. The song featured is "I'll Go Crazy If I Don't Go Crazy Tonight," and boy can those sunglasses belt out a tune.

Literally blinded by his own awesomeness.

Sarcasm aside, U2's latest album No Line on the Horizon just might be the worst album I've ever heard in my life, and I used to listen to Hanson. (No offense to Hanson. It's a compliment. "Mmmbop" is actually more intelligible than the horseshit Bono spews from his mouth.)

Speaking of God awful music, I've been pondering something recently:
Are people actually proud that they listen to Nickelback? Like, do you ever see someone wearing a Nickelback shirt who isn't painting his house or using it to shield his face to run through a burning building? Chew on that for a little while.

Do people actually enjoy my music? I wondered quietly to myself.

A few things have actually caught my interest, though, for good reasons.

Mika has a new single/video up for his latest record, The Boy Who Knew Too Much (due out September 21st), entitled "We Are Golden."

And any accusations that listening to Mika make me "totally gay" can be combated with this logic: Mika is musically catchy, not catchy like those bands that take pictures of themselves looking silly, holding balloons or cats or their own penises, and base their MySpace pages around their Twitters, you know, in case you truly give a shit as to what these bros are doing.

Speaking of Twitter... fuck Twitter. Here's my attempt at a Twitter post.

writing a new entry for my blog. @whogivesaflyingfuck.

Shut the hell up.

I digress.

Craig Owens has a solo EP due out soon, and has recently posted a pretty rad track on his MySpace, entitled "All Based on a Storyline."


Granted all of Owens' stuff sounds exactly like the rest of Owens' stuff (Chiodos, Cinematic Sunrise, etc.), which goes to show how much creative control the frontman truly has over those groups, I still find myself getting my groove on to whatever he puts out. Craig Owens could record himself eating peanut butter, and I would give it more than a couple listens.

Every Time I Die posted a new video, and it's quite possibly my favorite thing ever right now. I already preordered their new CD, so you'll have had enough of me talking about them soon.

I'm still waiting for someone to grab my attention span and spank the hell out of it.

Other than that, I've just stopped caring.

Why You Should Give Two Fucks About District 9

I was pondering writing something up on District 9. After all, I'm not exactly a movie critic. Then I realized that I'm not exactly a music critic, either, and that's never stopped me.

I saw District 9, and I thought it was going to be the ultimate good, incapable of critical penetration and/or destruction. Well, not necessarily impenetrable, but close enough. Here's why you should not only watch District 9, but why you should appreciate what the hell you're watching.


1. It's not based on a goddamn TV show.
Audiences worldwide have always been at least mildly entertained by movies made after TV shows or previously grounded mediums (ie: comic books, novels, etc.). Even if the movies failed miserably, they still probably managed to at least break even because of the previous interest due to the previous medium. After all, Daredevil is an all out shitstorm of a film, however, it's $80 million dollar budget was 50% reached in its opening weekend, as it rolled in nearly $41 million. Worldwide, it eventually made nearly $180 million. And all that hub-bub for perhaps one of the worst movies in existence.
Point being, District 9 is an original film. I'm fairly certain the last original film was Citizen Kane, and that's not even totally true, because everybody knows that's really based on William Randolf Hearst's life, and also his affinity for naming female body parts after flower body parts. Audiences don't even know what to do with themselves when they get an original plot line. Half of the opening weekend traffic for D9 was probably enraged that they couldn't prep themselves by reading the book, and then brag to all their friends who haven't seen the film that "the book was totally better, but I guess they did okay with the budget they had."

Which brings me to my second point.

2. It's truly the first summer blockbuster that didn't bust the producer/director's bank.
D9 cost around $30 million to make, and it's already remade that and then some, grossing $37 million merely in its opening weekend. The other two blockbusters this summer, Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen and GI: Joe cost exponentially more money. Transformers racked up a bill of $200 million. GI:Joe cost $175 million, and in its opening weeks has failed to even break even, grossing only $165 million since opening August 7th.
Again, the point being, you don't have to sit through a Michael Bay explosion extravaganza to get your money's worth. Nor do you have to watch one of the Wayans pretend to be badass.

Which brings me to my third point.

3. What big name do you know in this movie?
That's right, nobody. The main character is played by Sharlto Copley who, before gaining the lead in D9, has literally been in nothing, and yet, he pulls off a stunning performance. He provides a much needed compare and contrast factor to the alien prawns by proving that humans can be both understanding and assholes. Also, he's absolutely hilarious in the first half of the movie.

Also, no one in the audience is distracted from the poor cinematography or acting by Megan Fox. This is good, because I've had enough of jocks and bros alike admitting "Well, I didn't really like the movie, but Megan Fox is fucking hot. No seriously, I'd do her." I'm sure you would. Unfortunately, since you paid $6.50 to see this shitty movie just for Megan Fox, your relation to her is nothing more than a client to a whore. Which I guess would also make Michael Bay her pimp...

Which doesn't quite bring me to my fourth point...

4. Finally, someone understands how to shoot a goddamn interesting film.
And when I say "shoot," I'm speaking of the cinematography. It's absolutely brilliant in this film. The film blends the classic Hollywood style of shooting with the newly trendy "Cloverfield" style shooting - documentary, Handi-cam, home movie style shooting. However, unlike The Blair Witch Project, Cloverfield, Quarantine, and the plethora of copy-and-paste movies that have attempted to utilize this unique "new" type of filming, D9 actually uses it fucking tastefully. Period. Speaking of tasteful, D9 also uses CGI tastefully. Instead of clashing against the background, or dominating the actual human actors, the CGI prawns blend into the film. They work - speaking in a physical sense - with the actors and the set.

5. The movie, although generalized as a summer "blockbuster," does not rely on action/gore/violence alone to bring in the audience.
I've heard criticisms that D9 relies on explosions and weapons too heavily, and that it detracts from the plot or the character development or the fact that these explosions don't really matter because Michael Bay didn't produce them. These accusations can easily be swept under the rug. Clearly, whoever thinks these things hasn't seen the trailer for GI: Joe, which I believe contains roughly 14 words, juxtaposed next to several images of the Eiffel Tower falling, the Eiffel Tower exploding, the Eiffel Tower crushing buildings beneath it, and some guy in a black jumpsuit doing a front flip while wielding a katana while 5 or 6 motorcycles blow up beneath him.

Everybody run! It's shitty CGI and obvious green screens!

Everything is rigged to explode is a world run by terrorists.

D9 is not an action film, and in fact, up until around the one hour mark, the film appears to be a comedy. As mentioned, Copley is hilarious in his role, and the prawns, at first, act the part of the stereotypical, ignorant, illegal "immigrants." The movie turns, however, and takes the audience by surprise, when Copley is very abruptly thrown on the other side of the spectrum. The film then takes a very dark tone, changing into a thriller, both psychologically and physically.


District 9 should not be shelved anywhere near these other summer movies, nor should it be ignored due to its lack of star-studded cast and crew. It's sad that the only way people can react to an original film is by criticizing it for the same things they blindly miss in every other movie based on something from their childhood. Think about your criticism of D9 the next time you sit down to watch Speed Racer, and you may finally understand what it takes to make a decent movie.

(Box office stats and images found on www.boxofficemojo.com.)

Who the Hell Plans These Things?

As if I needed more justification to stay inside this fall and be an achievement whore on Xbox Live, Epitaph recently announced a fall tour with Every Time I Die and Bring Me the Horizon.

Bring Me the Horizon? Pleeeeeeeease. Bring me the fucking aspirin.

No longer interested in drawing a large crowd who enjoys the music of the entire bill, Epitaph probably assumed that co-headlining two very different bands (different in that one sucks and one doesn't) would draw a more diverse audience. I'm sure every 15 year-old American who hasn't heard BMTH will be all over that merch stand after their first breakdown.

In case you were wondering, I fucking hate Bring Me the Horizon. Honestly, I've attempted to listen to them almost every day for the past three months. I haven't felt anything - besides an upset stomach and that unmistakable "I really have to brush my teeth" feeling. Their music should be categorized under "Sonic ADHD." I get through about a minute and a half of
"Chelsea Smile," and then I forget what I was doing. What was I even just talking about?

Here's what I expect their live show will consist of:

1. A lot of dissonant breakdowns.
2. A lot of palm-muted breakdowns.
3. Outrageous amounts of china cymbal.
4. Shitty acrylic drumset.
5. This guy telling me to have a good time.

and finally
6. Me wishing I was actually watching Gallows.

Speaking of Gallows, I withdraw my previous statement that Gallows being on Warped tour was a good thing. I assumed the publicity would be good for them. Turns out, all it did was turn a lot of kids who were there for The Maine into number-one-Gallows-super-fans. What's their one single called, again? Lol.

I like Gallows, and I don't like you. Therefore, you can't possibly like Gallows. It's math. Also, they're not too fond of you, either.

"We hate you." - Gallows ("London is the Reason")

I digress. I'm excited that ETID signed to an arguably better label in Epitaph, and I understand Epitaph is trying to package two of its groups together, but hell, I'd rather see ETID and New Found Glory than Bring Me the Horizon. It'd probably be a better match, too. Kids who have never heard NFG would get that treat, and it would save me an aneurysm.

Don't get me wrong. I'm going to go to this show. It'll be interesting to see who ETID has beating the skins nowadays and, further, to hear some of their new tracks live.

Besides, I have a feeling that shitty bands will continue to tour alongside decent, hard-working bands until there are none of the latter left. Then, every record label will converge into one shitty record label where every band sounds like every other shitty band. Then the skies will rain fire, and we'll all be wishing that we actually cared about what the so-called "music" we had been shoveling into our aural canals for our entire lives.

Until then, we'll keep giving Grammys to U2, Coldplay will still be considered "ethereal" and "artsy," and Poison the Well will play club shows for the rest of their days.

Friends don't let friends listen to crap.

The Top 8 Reasons Not to Attend the Thrash and Burn Tour

The end of summer marks perhaps the most depressing time for the musical faithful out there. Warped Tour will soon come to a close, and with it, the outdoor shows permitted with brisk weather will go, too. Fear not, for this fall Musician's Friend, along with a slew of other corporate sponsors, will be presenting another year of the Thrash and Burn tour -but don't clasp that studded belt quite yet. The tour may seem like it's metal, br00tal, and all those other things the kids are into these days, but looks can be deceiving, and in the case of this tour, looks can be plain stupid. Here are 8 reasons not to attend the Trash and Burn Tour 09.


1. The logo.
Boy, they really went all out on this logo. I bet whoever designed this logo was sitting there in his cubicle with his Metallica shirt, wearing altogether too many black wristbands, and giggling at how fucking metal a skeletal demon skewing a melting skeletal demon with a guitar is. Also, everything has to be on fire. The only thing that could possibly make this more metal is more brutal endorsements. Like so:



2. They've booked shows at House of Blues.
That's right, the tour has booked at least two shows at the House of Blues, a Clear Channel Communications run event chain. Because nothing says debauchery like Clear Channel. Better tuck in your chain wallet before you get into these shows.

3. Thrash and Burn?
What about this tour makes it thrash? I bet Testament are just wetting their pants listening to all these palm-muted, half-time breakdowns. I understand the play on the phrase crash and burn, but I don't think the creators of this tour realize the irony of calling a shitty tour something similar to crash and burn. Bon voyage, SS Thrash and Burn.

4. Devil Driver.
Back when I was in 7th grade, I remember thinking bands that had matching camouflage shorts and long hair were heavy. Essentially, asking Devil Driver to headline a huge tour like this is like asking a seven year old boy on a plane to take over for the pilot. Sure, he'll be pleased as punch to do it, but that doesn't reconcile the fact that you've just killed a lot of innocent lives.

5. Emmure.
Emmure have released a new album every year since 2006, which goes to show why their music is so incredibly inept. The Respect Issue (Victory 08) just might be the blandest of the bland that I've ever heard in my life - like, asking every sales associate at Home Depot which shade of beige is the superior shade to buy bland. I believe the guitarists would need a compass and a sufficient map of the stars to navigate off the first three frets.

6. Despised Icon.
After listening to a mere five seconds of a Despised Icon song, I legitimately was overwhelmed with motion sickness, and not the motion sickness that you receive during the adrenaline rush on a roller coaster, but rather the motion sickness I assume one gets when descending from the stratosphere without a parachute after eating his own weight in Moon Pies.

7. My Children My Bride.
This is one of those bands that thinks it's acceptable to repeat the same four times for a verse as long as you harmonize the last two times. I can only imagine their amazing dual solo riffs are better played with fingerless gloves.

8. Veil of Maya.
This band's songwriting style is built entirely around breakdowns. Without them, their songs would be left to perish in a cyclone of awkward riffs and downright sub-par screaming.

Note: Just because I did not include every band listed on the tour does not mean they are of substantial anything. Having never listened to them, I can already guess that the criticism applied to the bands above can easily be transposed to these bands that will more than likely get 40 minutes to sound check for Devil Driver.